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Self abandonment....🤔Do you often discount your thoughts and ideas because they don't 'fit in' with someone else? Or maybe you dismiss your feelings as unimportant...? Do you try to please others and try to ignore your own needs and pain...? Sometimes we 'abandon' ourselves to create an alliance or relationship with others...we discount ourselves or 'parts' of ourselves... This can leave us in a place of loneliness, depression and anxiety....Perhaps at some point in our life it was necessary to abandon our selves to make a relationship work...perhaps as a child.... But this can leave us empty and lonely.... Learning how to see how we abandon ourselves and beginning the journey of self acceptance and value can be difficult, uncomfortable and scary but building a relationship with ourselves and knowing we are important too can increase our self confidence and improve our relationships.Look out for the inner critic, the need to be perfect or the need to be Little Miss or Mr Anything...and begin to put your own feelings forward...you do matter ❤️#counselling #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #innercritic #selfabandonment #selfsabotage #selfacceptance #depression #anxiety #selfconfidence #trauma #therapy #buxton #highpeak #bekindtoyourself ... See MoreSee Less

2 days ago  ·  

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Sanitising our emotions.....In a world that advertises, posts and promotes perfection and prosperity it's easy to begin to think some things aren't 'acceptable'....In psychology too there can be much to read about positive thinking and happy thoughts and sanitising ourselves from the negative ones....the implication is negative thoughts are bad and negative emotions are outlawed and we need to do something to change them....Sometimes the more we try to not feel something the more we end up feeling it (like anxiety)....Being kind to ourselves when we feel negative feelings is part of self compassion... accepting our anger is necessary so we can process and soothe it without hurting ourselves or others. What if we accepted our anxiety and not being anxious about being anxious...or not sanitising or rejecting our emotions and therefore ourselves because our emotions are part of who we are... What would happen if we accepted sadness and disappointment and learned how to sit in such places for a while...(?)... perhaps we would accept ourselves more fully and it might be the beginnings of resilience and good mental health....#counselling #therapy #highpeak #buxton #anxiety #anxious #sadness #depression #PositiveThinking #negativethoughts #mentalhealth #selfcare #selfcompassion #mentalhealthawareness #resilience #selflove ... See MoreSee Less

6 days ago  ·  

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Emotional flashbacks can make you feel like you're going mad....Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do to something or someone?...you could be having an emotional flashback or... reliving all the emotions your previous self has experienced in a difficult relationship. Emotional flashbacks often make you feel toxic shame, self hatred and self disgust...a sense of worthlessness...maybe an overwhelming feeling of humiliation... They can make you want to press the self destruct button...Being interested in when you first felt this 'collection' of emotions can help you find the root cause of them, process the experience and begin to untangle yourself from the past, identifying the triggers of the present and calming your response to them...#counselling #therapy #mentalhealth #emotionalflashbacks #trauma #abuse #anxiety#toxicshame #selfhatred #depression #relationships #highpeak #buxton #suicideprevention ... See MoreSee Less

1 week ago  ·  

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Comparison is the thief of joy…A relative said to me “I like having Autistic Spectrum Disorder…it’s part of who I am”. Rather than seeing these things as perhaps society would frame them, they’ve learned to embrace who they are and appreciate their uniqueness…with its ups and downs… Self acceptance is precious. We may not be ready to love ourselves yet but perhaps we could make room to accept who we are...? 🤔Self-acceptance can be won by being curious about why you do what you do instead of telling ourselves off…..Giving ourselves feedback instead of destructive criticism…not shaming ourselves and belittling ourselves…The reality is we do things for reasons, we shame ourselves because somewhere in our lives we’ve been taught to..🤔…we might have been criticised and not cherished as a child, we might have been compared to a sibling and never ‘measured up’, we might have fallen into a pattern of relationship with an insecure partner and made to feel not good enough or inadequate….to name a few reasons…Being curious about why we think the way we do and offering a kinder perspective to ourselves - a perspective we may offer a friend in a similar place - can be the seeds of self acceptance and health. So perhaps when we start to compare ourselves, shame ourselves, talk self criticism and hate into our hearts and lives or enter into the comparison game and the ‘I should’s’ of life…….we could; Stay curious with ourselves….Wonder why we need to compare ourselves…..who taught us we aren’t good enough or precious just as we are…Consider why we shame ourselves…who have we learned it from…Is it helpful to us….or does it shame and abuse us and make things worse.…We have a choice…perhaps we could accept where we are in life and who we are…many things have lead us here and even if we can’t show ourselves empathy perhaps we could end the shaming game…. #shame #blame #selfcriticism #selfacceptance #selflove #perspective #hope #therapy #counselling #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #depressionhelp #anxiety #buxton #highpeak #asd ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago  ·  

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Comparison is the thief of joy…A relative said to me “I like having Autistic Spectrum Disorder…it’s part of who I am”. Rather than seeing these things as perhaps society would frame them, they’ve learned to embrace who they are and appreciate their uniqueness…with its ups and downs… Self acceptance is precious. We may not be ready to love ourselves yet but perhaps we could make room to accept who we are...? 🤔Self-acceptance can be won by being curious about why you do what you do instead of telling ourselves off…..Giving ourselves feedback instead of destructive criticism…not shaming ourselves and belittling ourselves…The reality is we do things for reasons, we shame ourselves because somewhere in our lives we’ve been taught to..🤔…we might have been criticised and not cherished as a child, we might have been compared to a sibling and never ‘measured up’, we might have fallen into a pattern of relationship with an insecure partner and made to feel not good enough or inadequate….to name a few reasons…Being curious about why we think the way we do and offering a kinder perspective to ourselves - a perspective we may offer a friend in a similar place - can be the seeds of self acceptance and health. So perhaps when we start to compare ourselves, shame ourselves, talk self criticism and hate into our hearts and lives or enter into the comparison game and the ‘I should’s’ of life…….we could; Stay curious with ourselves….Wonder why we need to compare ourselves…..who taught us we aren’t good enough or precious just as we are…Consider why we shame ourselves…who have we learned it from…Is it helpful to us….or does it shame and abuse us and make things worse.…We have a choice…perhaps we could accept where we are in life and who we are…many things have lead us here and even if we can’t show ourselves empathy perhaps we could end the shaming game…. #shame #blame #selfcriticism #selfacceptance #selflove #perspective #hope #therapy #counselling #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #depressionhelp #anxiety #buxton #highpeak #asd ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago  ·  

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“Let your yes be yes and your no be no”…..The quote is actually from the bible, but let’s test what it’s saying….Sometimes we say “yes” to people when actually what we want to say is “no”. We don’t mean “yes” even though we’re saying it 😔 Why is that?We may not feel able to show our feelings and thoughts for many reasons; perhaps we’re scared of upsetting someone or afraid they’ll be angry at us, or we may fear disapproval, our own sense of failure or we think we’re letting someone down… maybe we just want to be liked….seen as helpful…so we’ll do anything….The truth is though if our “no” is “yes” we aren’t being honest with ourselves or the other person…we’re probably ‘in hiding’ through fear or shame… There’s a lot in this idea but we’re not truly saying “yes” if we can’t say “no” to someone. If the other person knew you couldn’t say “no” to them how would they feel?…is the relationship a healthy one…. Counselling can help understand why you do what you do and help to create healthy choices and relationships.#sayingno #peoplepleaser #fear #selflove #boundaries #counselling #psychotherapy #buxton #highpeak #healthylifestyle #relationshipgoals #mentalhealth #naturephotography #trust ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago  ·  

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Are you brave enough to be you…?We all wear emotional masks… we put on a persona to keep our true selves safe….right?We might show ourselves as this person at work, that person with friends….we may even put on ‘masks’ in our closer relationships but….are they helpful? Who is the real you? Sometimes our ‘masks’ hide our true selves from our true selves and we don’t know who we are…we’ve been so busy being who everyone wants us to be we feel like an imposter…like we’re pretending….like others don’t really know us or see us…Counselling can help you take off the masks and celebrate your uniqueness, find beauty in the fact there is no one else on the earth like you (!) and the world needs you…authentic you…You need authentic you! So who are you? Not the roles you do (boss/dad/sister/teacher)….but who are you, the real you ? Developing our awareness and acceptance of ourselves can increase our mental health and well-being, create deeper, stronger and positive relationships with others and the world around us. #whoami #selfawareness #acceptance #selfdevelopment #emotionaldamage #imposter #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #selfcare #talkingtherapy#counselling #buxton #highpeak #authentic ... See MoreSee Less

4 weeks ago  ·  

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Wouldn’t it be great to feel happy all the time! For the ‘sun to be shining’ permanently on the inside…but that’s not possible.. or perhaps wise🤔…(?) Our emotions are only a part of who we are and this is perhaps a good thing when we feel like punching some….. or we feel like our life is too hard and we just can’t……anymore 😢 Emotional regulation is the fancy word of feeling an emotion but being able to ‘push through’ those feelings so we can do all we need to do in life. Examples of this can be comforting someone when we might feel we need comforting ….or not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, but doing it because we have to go to work or look after family… or feeling angry and walking away…instead of expressing it at someone. The problem is burying or denying our emotions mean they can leak out of us at times when we wished they wouldn’t or we may feel sad or angry all the time…Helpful ways of working through our emotions could be…. Self compassion…Perspective…Processing emotions alone or with a confident…Sometimes we struggle to process our emotions and counselling can help…we all struggle at times…#therapy #counselling #selfcompassion #perspective #selfregulation #emotionalregulation #emotional #emotions #talk #buxton #highpeak#anxiety #depression #anger #mentalhealth #selfawareness #naturephotography ... See MoreSee Less

4 weeks ago  ·  

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We are our own worse enemy…..?Compassion isn’t a word commonly used these days, so SELF compassion may be a new idea to you…Self-compassion is vital to mental wellbeing. If self care is for the physical us…self compassion is for the emotional us!!Perhaps society’s undertones subtly berate us(?) maybe through some relationships, social media, institutions or systems:Comparison…“You’re not as good as so and so….”Status…“You have no money or friends..”Criticism….“You’re weak, you’ve messed up again…”Shame…“You’re not good enough….”Society may subtly whisper shame and self loathing to us…and perhaps we listen and make it part of ourselves.Self compassion is how we fight it… Sometimes self compassion can be thoughts like…“I’m doing my best with what I have and it’s okay…”or perhaps…”okay, that didn’t go as planned but I tried and I will move on…”or even…”I know I’m not doing so well just now but it’s okay…”The start of self compassion is being aware of how we emotionally condemn ourselves, and changing that self condemnation into self compassion… So please be kind to yourself in these testing times and maybe consider some self compassion….#selfcompassion #selflove #selfcare #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #counselling #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #talkingtherapy #highpeak #buxton#derbyshire #naturephotography ... See MoreSee Less

1 month ago  ·  

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The seeds of self compassion grow into trees of resilience and strength that withstand shame, and failure and help us to process anger in a healthy way. Our love for others increases when we first learn to love ourselves with our own faults.....#counselling #highpeak #buxton #talkingtherapy #selfcompassion #selfcare #hope #Shame #resilience #love #relationships #selfacceptance #selflove ... See MoreSee Less

2 months ago  ·  

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Emotional integrity..???🤔and self care.We all have emotions but sometimes we can 'catch' emotions from other people.... A colleague may feel angry about work. They share their feelings and before we know it you feel angry too! Someone driving a car may notgive way to you because they're frustrated and you might find yourself feeling frustrated as well....Or we may see panic buying in the shops...and panic ourselves and buy whatever produce we're fearful will be depleted.... We can also 'catch' emotions from the news, TV, social media or advertisements....It's often good to share emotions (empathy/communication) with people, it strengthens relationships, but perhaps sometimes it can be.....unhelpful, and finding a way to step away emotionally may be useful.  Being aware of a separation of emotions or 'stuff' between ourselves and others is self care.... Knowing what emotions are ours and what emotions are another's can be more helpful to the other person too, it can provide emotional space... to gain perspective and process emotions without escalating them.Psychodynamics call this process projection, projection identification or transference. Humans do this all the time, but it's not always helpful...Counselling can facilitate our self care and develop our emotional integrity. Being aware of, understanding, processing and helpfully communicating emotions improves our mental health, relationships and resilience.#talkingtherapy #counselling #mentalhealth #selfcare #Empathy #anger #anxiety #depression#resilience#panic #emotion #transference #highpeak #buxton #peakdistrict ... See MoreSee Less

2 months ago  ·  

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"Perseverance" isn't a word you normally hear in polite conversation these days....Mostly the word is "instant"! Let's be honest, who wants to wait for a website to load if it takes more than 3 seconds 🤷 What about waiting in a queue of people...or even a queue of cars!!! 🙄 We get used to a life of instant highs...😍...instant fixes... instant relationships....instant mental health..??? We get given a pill, a few free sessions of counselling and the "expectation" is we'll be fine...🤔... But are we....are we really...? Perhaps things do get better for a time and then we find we have to change medication, up the dosage...more counselling...Is it a sticky plaster on emotional wounds that just aren't healing....?Some forms of counselling do work for a time but then it seems the plaster is ripped off and the wound is still there..At Lovejoy counselling you see results and then if you're willing, the deeper healing can begin..... So you don't keep finding yourself in the same place again and again.#mentalhealth#mentalhealthawareness#instant#perseverance#hope#counselling #talkingtherapy #naturephotography #selfcare#selflove#selfcompassion#healing #depression #anxiety#buxton#highpeak#peakdistrict ... See MoreSee Less

2 months ago  ·  

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Holding the tension of opposites....We all have difficult feelings to manage; sometimes we may feel vulnerable and yet sometimes powerful or independent / dependent, anxious / calm, depressed or happy, angry or loving.We often "travel" between the opposites and perhaps ping from one to the other for instance one minute you may feel love for someone the next you may feel nothing but anger...... Or sometimes you may feel like a competent adult and the next like a fearful child.Holding both "opposites" in ourselves at the same time builds resilience, helps us grow and increases our capacity for relationship... Understanding that we are both opposites and others are too(!) increases our self compassion and compassion for others. We are not just afraid....part of us is afraid, another part of us is powerful and more than able to meet the challenges. We are not all or nothing, black or white, we are both.Counselling can help you see those part of you you never realised were there and help you use them to create self compassion, resilience and a closer connection with others.#counselling #talkingtherapy #therapy #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #selflove #tension #stress #anxiety #depression #anger #relationships #opposites #feelgood #buxton #derbyshire #peakdistrict #naturephotography #resilience ... See MoreSee Less

2 months ago  ·  

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Is the present a gift that we often miss….are we are mentally absent….(?)As humans we rely on learning from our past and we apply it to our future. This awareness of past and future can - if we let it - rob us of our present. We may continually look at our past with regret in order to learn from it, or be always thinking and analysing the future so we don’t make mistakes…. But when the past or future occupy our minds we’re not present.Being mentally absent from the present can increase our distress and be detrimental to our relationships and physical and mental health….Psychologists say living in the present reduces stress and improves our wellbeing.Staying present can be hard but you aren’t the same person you were last month or last, you’ve learned so much since then and you will continue to learn into the future… Future you will be very different from the past you and now you! Future you will deal with future decisions as they arise.Being aware of our surroundings, our bodies and being conscious of our thoughts can hep us stay present and enjoy the present of now.#stress #anxiety #worry #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #counselling #therapy #learning #mindfulness #staypresent #buxton #highpeak #selfawareness #selflove ... See MoreSee Less

3 months ago  ·  

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Our fears can show themselves in many ways....When we have fears we may feel we have no control over some things. We may compensate for this feeling of fear by controlling what we can... ourselves, others or maybe our environment....We may try to control or micromanage others, or our food or exercise regime or maybe our hygiene or the hygiene of the world around us. Often these attempts at control soothe us, however they may interfere with our mental health and relationships... and we may find ourselves feeling anxious, depressed, stressed or perhaps ashamed....Developing self awareness and having compassion for ourselves and our fears can help us look after that part of us that is afraid and begin to take some control back over our lives.#stress #anxiety #fear #depression #Shame #compulsive #controlling #micromanage #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #selfawareness #counselling #therapy #buxton #highpeak #bakewell #whaleybridge #help #mentalhealth #mentalwellbeing #selfcare ... See MoreSee Less

3 months ago  ·  

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